Chapter X: The Quotable Professor
After two days of school, I've had all my classes at least once, and am prepared to offer up the most interesting kernel of wisdom delivered by each professor on the first day of class. Ahem.
Professor Buffa (of Physics): "...What are the laws of physics the ball obeys when you throw it up?" I guffawed uncontrollably for about 1.2 seconds after this rhetorical question, and continued guffawing for several seconds thereafter, albeit controllably. My immediate mental image was of Professor Buffa vomitting a tennis ball into the air, along with his lunch. If anyone else in the class found this funny, they gave no indication.
Professor Choi (of Architectural History): "We will ask you, 'What is this building?' and 'What time period was it constructed in?' and you will fill in the correct bubble...or, I should say, about 70% of you will fill in the correct bubble."
Professor Yip (of Architectural History), regarding the remote control which operates the projector: "It's like a little space ship." This was amusing because the remote control had no resemblence to a space ship at all.
Professor Bomstad (of Philosophy): "Question: How do you get a philosopher off your porch?
Answer: Pay for the pizza."
Professor Freeby (of Architectural Design): "Gofjewol Hbyhfffoeeq." Or something, I can't remember. He mangled someone's name on the roll sheet though.
Professor Howell (of British Literature): "If you squeeze the pig, he'll squeal." This man makes me want to die. He probably spoke as many words in two hours as, say, Professor Bomstad did in twenty minutes. I did not know anyone could talk so slowly, and he doesn't stock his required text at the campus bookstore, and he has this weird touchy feely participation based grading, and he waited until 7:00 PM (the class starts at 6:00) before he turned on the lights in the room, and only because someone asked him to. Personally, I was curious as to how dark he'd let it get before he noticed that we couldn't read our syllabi anymore. And to top it all off, I'm going to have to read Frankenstein again, which was only one of two books I ever threw away because I hated it so much. The other was Treasure Island. I think I'm going to drop this class like a flaming sack of goat feces, but finding something to take instead will be sucky.
In other news, Adbusters arrived in the mail today. Now I can appropriately equip myself to conform to the mainstream of counterculture culture.
Professor Buffa (of Physics): "...What are the laws of physics the ball obeys when you throw it up?" I guffawed uncontrollably for about 1.2 seconds after this rhetorical question, and continued guffawing for several seconds thereafter, albeit controllably. My immediate mental image was of Professor Buffa vomitting a tennis ball into the air, along with his lunch. If anyone else in the class found this funny, they gave no indication.
Professor Choi (of Architectural History): "We will ask you, 'What is this building?' and 'What time period was it constructed in?' and you will fill in the correct bubble...or, I should say, about 70% of you will fill in the correct bubble."
Professor Yip (of Architectural History), regarding the remote control which operates the projector: "It's like a little space ship." This was amusing because the remote control had no resemblence to a space ship at all.
Professor Bomstad (of Philosophy): "Question: How do you get a philosopher off your porch?
Answer: Pay for the pizza."
Professor Freeby (of Architectural Design): "Gofjewol Hbyhfffoeeq." Or something, I can't remember. He mangled someone's name on the roll sheet though.
Professor Howell (of British Literature): "If you squeeze the pig, he'll squeal." This man makes me want to die. He probably spoke as many words in two hours as, say, Professor Bomstad did in twenty minutes. I did not know anyone could talk so slowly, and he doesn't stock his required text at the campus bookstore, and he has this weird touchy feely participation based grading, and he waited until 7:00 PM (the class starts at 6:00) before he turned on the lights in the room, and only because someone asked him to. Personally, I was curious as to how dark he'd let it get before he noticed that we couldn't read our syllabi anymore. And to top it all off, I'm going to have to read Frankenstein again, which was only one of two books I ever threw away because I hated it so much. The other was Treasure Island. I think I'm going to drop this class like a flaming sack of goat feces, but finding something to take instead will be sucky.
In other news, Adbusters arrived in the mail today. Now I can appropriately equip myself to conform to the mainstream of counterculture culture.
1 comment:
Here you go--I had a professor ("Professor Collins," we'll call him, of upper-level literature) announce on the first day of class that he hadn't done any of the quarter's reading, though he would of course still expect us to finish all the assigned books.
The scary part? Yeah, he was serious.
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