Chapter XCVI: My Christmas Dinner

Course I
Hara Croatian Blue Fin Toro and Iranian Imperial Ossetra Caviar

Course II
Lobster Cigarette and Asian Green Papaya with Hearts of Palm Salad

Course III
Loup de Mer with Spicy Lemongrass Galanga Sauce

Course IV
Jasmine Tea Smoked Wild Boar Chop and Wild Arugula

Course V
A5 Wagyu New York Steak

Course VI
Asian Raspberry Lychee Caprice with Confit of Kumquats

Wine
Champagne, Sake, Cabernet Sauvignon, Pinot Noir, Chardonnay
(yes these are all for me)

Chapter XCVI: Peeing and Nothingness

svelteDR: you were sitting on the couch hugging alex
svelteDR: it was cute
svelteDR: ...until you started puking on his sweatshirt

Chapter XCV: Master Baster

I may just be puerile, but it seems like the turkey recipe I found online contains subtle homoerotic undertones. It tells you to hold the legs apart while you butter up the hole...and then to fill it with stuffing. Okay, maybe not so subtle. My poor Victorian sensibilities were scandalized, to be sure.

It also didn't help that the turkey baster made the most ridiculous noise when squirting its juices.

It was like the scene in Return of the Jedi where Princess Leia strangles Jabba the Hutt with the very chain that was meant to prevent her escape. Imagine that Jabba the Hutt had explosive diarrhea as he was dying, and that there was a chihuahua stuck in his butt, gasping for air. That's pretty much what the turkey baster sounded like.

This post is about a month late, but before we left for Thankgiving break, my roommate and I bought a 15.92 pound turkey from Ralph's. There was still about five pounds left when we were cleaning out the fridge before leaving for Christmas. We got the idea when Ralph's was having a promotion whereby turkeys were only four dollars (normally $17) if you spent twenty-five dollars on other shit in the store.

We beat the system though, by buying a box of laundry detergent with the turkey to meet the quota, and then immediately returning the laundry detergent! HAHHAHAHA, take THAT, Ralphie.

I let my roommate do the honors of preparing the turkey, since he's white and has more experience in that regard. My duties were to stand back and snicker uncontrollably while reading the recipe, and to man the turkey baster.

The final product was tasty, but a tad gamey since--contrary to the post title--I am not a master baster.

Chapter XCIV: Art Fart (An Internal Dialogue)

Image of the Day: springagain, by phillipmo (flickr.com)

click to view full size

Me: Check out this awesome picture; it represents the dehumanizing effect of industrial society.

Myself: Whatever, man...you say that about everything.

Me: I'm serious! The element in the bottom right is a giant gear and that bird has a hopeless look in its eye. I think it's about to jump to its death to get away from the all-consuming machine.

Myself: The bird doesn't have a "hopeless" look; it's just stylized. Moreover, birds have wings, so it wouldn't die if it jumped off. And besides, how does a suicidal bird speak about deHUMANization?

Me: Well, wings won't help when it takes off into that void; there's no coming back from there--clearly a metaphor for death. You could be right about the bird/human dichotomy, though.

Myself: Could be?

Me: Like you said, it's stylized. Maybe it doesn't symbolize a real bird, but rather the cuckoo in a cuckoo clock, which is the ultimate expression of subjugation to industrialism. Birds usually represent freedom, but a cuckoo's movements are totally determined by the gears inside the clock. The loss of freedom to a mechanical overlord is the very essence of dehumanization, is it not?

Myself: You just went off the deep end, buddy.

Me: Fine smarty-pants, what's your grand interpretation?

Myself: Quite simply, it's a statement about sustainable design. The spiral element is a tree viewed in Plan (see the leaves?), and taken together with the bird and the profusive use of green, it represents Nature with a capital 'N.' There are two implied yin-yangs, one in the center, and again in the dangly-bobs in the bottom left of the spiral. Those go toward the idea of harmony with nature. Likewise the infinity symbol at the very center.

Me: And the void on the left?

Myself: A matter of composition.

And I: You're both missing the point. The most important element here is the curve of the bird's tail, which, combined with its eye, forms a question mark. The image as a whole is a comment about the ambivalence every person faces as he struggles to define himself in this world. At what point is he prepared to abandon the entelechial past for the uncertainty of the future? From a Deconstructionist viewpoint, the image's unconventional dimensions (1217 x 727) reflect this theme also. Ultimately, it is only by taking flight into the unknown that we can really discover who we are.

Myself: That's Deep.

Me: I still like my idea better.