Chapter CIII: Beware the Spicy Iguana

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Chapter CII: Observation Five

Image of the Day: Work is for the Birds, fullbleed.org

While I was sitting in an auditorium at Sac State last Sunday, eating a mutant apple, I mused about the end of the debate season and how the past eight months had been a blur of a blur.

It occurred to me that I would never again read a 1AC, or perm a kritik, or drop three disads and a counterplan in the 2AR and spend six minutes ranting about the RVI on I-Spec.

I got a funny twinge that I felt before on the last day of school in 6th grade. As I trudged up the hill that day in June, I realized that it was the last time I would ever make that 45 minute walk home from Valencia Elementary School. It wasn't a sad feeling, nor a happy one--just an indelible *click* that occurs after something abruptly ends, that once seemed interminable.

Then, on Monday, I rooted around my backpack and found a crumpled sheet of lime green paper with red scribblings on it. It was the flowsheet from my first real debate round, back in September at Berkeley.

Shayla and I were Neg against Milliken and we didn't understand the 1AC. The low point was when we attacked the card which said racism made black people "invisible," since clearly, we are able to see black people ("on TV," I believe Shayla said).

The best part of the round, though, was when the Affirmative team started snapping at each other over the computer they were using.

"What the hell did you do? I can't scroll!" the 2AC muttered at her debate partner, who looked like an angular version of Che Guevara, plus glasses.

"Just give it to me!" pseudo-Che replied, snatching the laptop from her hands. "You broke my computer!" the hirsute young man accused, glaring back.

Yikes.

It's funny, comparing that to my last debate round, where we lost to the Feminist Jurisprudence Kritik. Goddamn Johnson card...

So anyway, thanks to everyone for a fun year, especially to all of my quondam debate partners: Shayla (1AC extraordinaire), Lillie (the other woman), Annie (the other other woman) and Joe (the other other other woman). You guys are splendiferous.

Beepbeepbeepbeep. I'm open for cross-examination.

Oh fuck, that was lame.

P.S. Congress is in a sweet position to act post-Hamdan.

Chapter CI: Supply and Demand

ibleedgraphite: what's something I can write about in my blog?

xxxxx: some guy wrote about me in his blog
xxxxx: about our conversations
ibleedgraphite: but I actually want my blog to be interesting...
xxxxx: thank you for being mean
xxxxx: sex and politics are always interesting
xxxxx: or sexual politics
ibleedgraphite: hmm, the time I had sex with a Libertarian
xxxxx: masturbation isn't very interesting
xxxxx: no one would read it
ibleedgraphite: it is if you do it Libertarian style
ibleedgraphite: laissez-faire
ibleedgraphite: "hands off"
xxxxx: hah
xxxxx: I wish I could do it without hands
ibleedgraphite: you use Adam Smith's invisible hand, duh