Chapter III: Fuck CoinStar
Yes, fuck CoinStar. Why, you ask? Because CoinStar is fucking YOU. I refer, of course, to the 8.9% service charge. Eight point nine per-fucking-cent. It does NOT take a dime's worth of effort to count up 100 pennies. I timed myself, I takes 53.44 seconds to count out 100 pennies. If I made 8.9 cents every 53.44 seconds, that would be $5.90 per hour.
Okay, maybe that's not that much. But then again, CoinStar counts much faster than I do, and the evil manager at Ralph's told me to CoinStar my half-dollars too! It DEFINITELY does not cost a dime to count out two half-dollar coins.
Sure, you might say, you don't HAVE to use CoinStar. You could buy groceries with coins if you want to. But the fact is, paying with coins has always been surrounded by a miasma of opprobrium. It's like, you don't HAVE to say the Pledge of Allegiance, but everybody looks at you funny if you don't.
People have always preferred bills to coins, and CoinStar is an institutionalization of that. Not only are coins worth less than bills, but according the CoinStar, they are worth 8.9% less.
And...um...that's bad. I forgot where I was going with this. Something about Gresham's Law and CoinStar being responsible for the downfall of America. It's too late anyway (in more ways than one). Nighty-o.
Okay, maybe that's not that much. But then again, CoinStar counts much faster than I do, and the evil manager at Ralph's told me to CoinStar my half-dollars too! It DEFINITELY does not cost a dime to count out two half-dollar coins.
Sure, you might say, you don't HAVE to use CoinStar. You could buy groceries with coins if you want to. But the fact is, paying with coins has always been surrounded by a miasma of opprobrium. It's like, you don't HAVE to say the Pledge of Allegiance, but everybody looks at you funny if you don't.
People have always preferred bills to coins, and CoinStar is an institutionalization of that. Not only are coins worth less than bills, but according the CoinStar, they are worth 8.9% less.
And...um...that's bad. I forgot where I was going with this. Something about Gresham's Law and CoinStar being responsible for the downfall of America. It's too late anyway (in more ways than one). Nighty-o.
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