Chapter XLVII: Frequently Asked Questions

Image of the Day: Nothing Rhymes...

Q: When and why did you start blogging?

In my junior year , I started posting daily recapitulations in my AIM profile, focusing on humorous or bizarre incidents. These have since been lost in the mists of time (i.e. the Great Harddrive Formatting Accident of 2004), but off the top of my head, I can recall writing about my grandmother's goldfish named Gorbachev, being sent to detention every day for a week, stupid things my French teacher would do, etc. I guess I wanted my peers to think I was clever, while hiding the fact that my life was actually pretty fucking shitty. After the AIM profile format, I moved to AIM Subprofiles (remember those?), a brief foray into Xanga, and then offline into Notepad, until one fine day in August 2005, when I was browsing the "more >>" tab on Google and came across blogger.com.

Q: Why do you call each post a "Chapter?"

It's just one of my pretentions, as if this blog were the "story of my life" that I am writing one chapter at a time. I considered using "Episode" instead, but didn't, because 'episode' sounds too much like 'octopode' and I fucking hate octopodes.

Q: Who is the intended audience of your blog?

Hmm, that is a very good question. Different posts ("Chapters") have different target audiences; possibly me, people I know personally, poker aficionados, the faceless Internet, or some combination of the above. I usually delete the embarrassingly introspective or boring rants that I later realize only I would read, and only because I wrote them. On the other hand, I don't want to concentrate so much on being funny/relatable that I don't feel free to write whatever is on my mind. I tend to write inductively--starting with a personal experience and then generalizing it.

Q: What happened in November 2005 that prevented you from writing a single entry?

*Shrugs*

Q: Are you really gay (cf. Chapter XLIII)?

Yes. I look up gay porn all day long. <-- A Faustian bargain: I'll get page hits from horny guys typing "gay porn" into Google, but they won't stay to read anything.

Q: What do you have in mind for the future of this blog?

I'm working on a visitor poll to put in the sidebar, as well as concepts for organizing posts for ease of navigation. Perhaps I will change the post format so that the Image of the Day is included in the post summary. Also, I will be opening a mailing list so my regular reader(s) won't have to check in every day, but can get my blitherings delivered straight to their inbox! And finally, regularity.

Q: What is regularity?

"Regularity is defined as the easy passage (without straining) of well-formed stools (neither too hard, nor too soft) at least once every two to three days without the use of assistive devices (such as laxatives). A well-formed stool is soft and flexible..."
- http://www.fruit-eze.com/regularity.htm

With the minor amendment of "stools" to "blog posts," the above definition is suitable for our purposes. I'm going to aim for about two posts a week, released on Sundays and Thursdays, hopefully without straining or resorting to laxatives. I'm trying to become a better writer, and writing more is the first step in that direction. Posts may also become more literary as I experiment with short stories and poetry.