Chapter XLIX: Illusion of an Allusion

Image of the Day: My Letter to the World, that Never Wrote to Me

A long time ago, in a post far far away (Chapter XI: A Glitch in the Matrix), I described the benefits of explaining an allusion right after you make it. On one hand, if the person I'm talking with is uncultured and misses the allusion, he will now grok it. On the flip side, if he thinks I am uncultured, I can dispel his suspicion that I alluded inadvertently.

Today, I read something that makes me wish the writer had followed my advice. Specifically, I'm not sure if a certain title in a magazine is supposed to be an allusion or not.

The publication in question is Men's Health Magazine. As an aside: For many years, whenever I passed the magazine rack at Barnes & Noble, I would wonder what kind of idiot bought those hideous fitness magazines--the ones that put oily, musclebound freaks of nature on their covers. As of last Saturday, I officially became that idiot.

To my credit, it's not an issue of Men's Health per se, but more of a book put out by the editors of Men's Health. It's titled Amazing Abs and actually contains quite a lot of useful information, especially regarding diet (when/what/how much), so I decided it was a good one-time investment.

Anyways, on page 41, there is a small inset under the heading "Waiting For Jell-O" that explains waiting forty minutes before eating dessert after dinner (to let blood sugar levels stabilize). At first blush, it appears to be a clever allusion to Samuel Beckett's play Waiting For Godot (pronounced 'guh-DOH'), punning on the rhyme.

But on closer examination, it isn't so clear. To begin with, 'Jell-O' and 'Godot' don't actually rhyme, since the stress is on the first syllable in 'Jell-O', and on the latter in 'Godot.' Furthermore, there are absolutely no other literary allusions in the entire book, much less allusions to a work as relatively obscure as Beckett's existentialist tragicomedy.

Besides, such an intellectual treat would be non sequitur in a book where the author tries to make every point with a veiled reference to sex. Regarding overtraining: "There is only one thing most men would do a thousand times every day if it were physically possible, and it isn't crunches." Regarding rep pacing: "Each rep of an ab exercise should last slightly longer than you lasted on prom night--4 to 6 seconds." Regarding the benefits of ab training: "ABS WILL IMPROVE YOUR SEX LIFE." You get the idea.

Was I wrong to imagine a Jell-O/Godot connection? Is there anything else it could be a reference to? Paint me confused... Someone rescue me.

A final note: Besides the Jell-O/Godot conundrum, there five allusions in this post. If you got them all, kudos. If not, they're listed in the first comment.