Chapter XXXVII: Healthiness Month

I decided today that it would be nice to be in shape for once in my life. It might as well be now, when it's still relatively easy to start up some healthy habits. I mean, I could wait until I'm a blind, arthritic, octegenarian with no bowel control (seriously, I've seen these people in the gym), but then I would break my collarbone trying to do a tricep pulldown. And that's not fun (at all).

Sooo....

As of now, May is officially declared Healthiness Month. I'm going to do everything healthy!

But first, a baseline is needed against which progress can be measured. That brings us to...

the Image of the Day: Current State of My Torso




















That picture is actually from a week ago, but whatever. In a month or so, I will take another picture and see what's up. Hoped for improvements and plan of attack are:

1. More defined midsection (rectus abdominus, iliac crest)
a. Augment daily jogging regimen to 5 instead of 3 miles.
b. Drink a gallon of water every day to decrease subcutaneous water retention.
c. Forsake the delightful chocolate chip cookies that Quinn bakes every so often.

2. Thicker chest (pectoralis major, pectoralis minor, serratus anterior)
a. Bench press (incline and decline).
b. Flye machine.
c. Anabolic steroids.

3. Generally look healthier
a. Tan
b. Nipple piercing
c. Bathe in buttermilk.

Hm, so I got less and less realistic as I went along. As you can see, I am already discouraged. Bleh. Healthy is overrated anyway; wealthy and wise is where it's at. What am I saying? To hell with wise...