Chapter LI: Vodka Checkers
Drunken text:
i palyed cheackers with my roomate a few mintues ago. he has one of tohose glass boards with th shot gllass pieces that you pit liquirds in to drinky drink from. we uvsed vodka. but not allll vokda. also some orange sjucce and sprte. like a third and athird andathirdandathird or something. i'm not the fcukign chem major. dont remmeber how ti worked. theres 12 pieces. each one gets some ackleehol and smome oranj joooos, and some spirrte. and oyu mix it all up tastylike. buble bublle bblbub oh yeah, earlier i pltyed him nmormal checkesrs, with normal piaces, and i WON, an d i playted with one less piecee than him. and it was aweom.e so i was like, pssshhh, bring it on foolio, you is sucky at the checkrrs, i traoucennece your ass anyaday, drunk or wahtever. so we play and halfeay through, the fucker triplejumps me. one two thre.e FUUKCKKKCKCKKK. cheater sippity sip all the way down, yum. then i lose cauz he take forever to fucking move afdn i cant think.anymore. vodak shots to the head, brains squish squash pish posh mish mash fish fash oh, i got some mroe fishes in the deep blue sea, joi to you and me not fair. =9 also, i knock ovr the rest of the peices. heeheeheheheheee..hm. sleep oh im soryy i havent bloged. busy. skool. jsut watn to sit in the corner and do corsswordpuzzle.s im good at crsoswords. suckat life. delete soryry. jst jmp ovremepleaez d f d
2 comments:
Sentence by sentence sober reconstruction:
Just a moment ago, I concluded a game of checkers with my roommate. He has a checkers set with shot-glass pieces from which liquid can be imbibed. A measure of vodka was poured into each piece. Besides vodka, orange juice and Sprite were added in equal amounts so that each glass contained a third of a shot of each ingredient.
I am not majoring in Chemistry. The details elude me. Each player has twelve pieces. Each piece contains alcohol, orange juice, and Sprite. The concoction tastes pleasant after it has been thoroughly mixed. These small acts of alchemy always bring to my mind a certain scene from Shakespeare's play Macbeth.
Earlier in the day, I had played checkers and won handily, even though I started with one less piece than he. It was a decisive victory. Confident in my checkers supremacy, I lambasted my roommate's tactical acumen and tell him that I can beat him even while inebriated. We begin the game, and several moves in, the scoundrel scores a triple jump. Once, twice, thrice, his glass clinks against the board in quick succession. FUUKCKKKCKCKKK. I drain each of my freshly captured pieces of their delicious contents. My opponent then decides to use his greater biomass as a strategic advantage and takes an inordinate amount of time to move, while I slip farther into vodka heaven.
The vodka impairs my ability to focus. One or two pieces are knocked over. This amuses me for some reason. I actually claw my way back from the verge of defeat and the game is declared a draw
It has been a month since I posted a blog entry. I have been occupied. With schoolwork. But the 5-week session ends tomorrow and I will have time again. Horray...
Post a Comment