Chapter XXXII: Howell, Revisited

A few months ago, I wrote something about 'a flaming sack of goat feces.' This was not in reference to the peculiar sexual fetish my roommate Darron has, but rather to my perception of Professor Howell's English 253--Romanticism in British Literature--class.

I registered for English 253 with Professor Howell during Fall Quarter, but dropped it after the first day (as if it were a flaming sack of goat feces), and so did 15 other people...out of a class of 35. However, I was not able to replace it with another English class, and nothing fit into my schedule during Winter, so here I am in Spring, registered for Howell's English 253, Tuesdays and Thursdays, from 6 to 8 PM.

This time though, I have no illusions about what I am getting myself into. I KNOW this is going to suck ass, but I'm almost looking forward to it, in a masochistic kind of way. It's sort of like that website goatse.cx. The first time you're tricked into clicking the link, it's so shocking that you close your browser immediately, then shut your eyes for 5 minutes, trying to wipe the image from your retina. I used a similar defense mechanism when confronted with Professor Howell for the first time two quarters ago. But after a while, you become curious and open up goatse again, of your own volition. I think I'm at that stage with this class.

Here are some of the nice things other students have said about Professor Howell on polyratings.com, Cal Poly's student-run, professor rating site:

"I recall how he would come into class slowly everyday, sipping a cup of tea as if he was in great pain. It was the same way with his words, which he said with such anguish that I imagined them trudging forth from the depths of his soul, tearing the flesh on their way out."
"He would take a thought that probably occured to him as he entered this classroom, and visibly and audibly labour his way through the maze that thought created."
"The guy took a half an hour of class just drawing out a seating chart. The way he speaks is like Ben Stein on depressants."
"This was the most boring class I've ever had in my life."

The first time I read those comments, I thought they were exaggerations. They aren't.

In other news, I don't know if Darron actually has a goat feces fetish (flaming, and in a sack, or otherwise). I just wonder if he ever reads my blog.

[Update] As of May 27, 2006, Darron has not commented on the goat fetish allegations contained herein.