Chapter XXXIII: Gainfully Employed

A wise man once said, "My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell."

Unfortunately, my current employment --the first I've had in my entire life--is not as exciting as that. I feel more like Patrick Bateman, than Lester Burnham. My job is a sinecure...I don't seem to have any real responsibilities, and I'm overpaid compared to people with the same job title at other departments.

Today I sat at a desk for seven hours, and every 45 minutes or so, someone might drop off a document. I would carefully hole-punch this document and then deposit it in a three-ring binder, in alphabetical order relative to all the other documents in the folder.

I also answered the phone twice. The sad part is when I call my supervisor to ask what I should be doing, nothing really comes up.

The rest of my time is spent doing homework on this computer, which I have affectionately nicknamed The People's Computer, on account of it being publicly funded and therefore belonging, theoretically, to every (tax-paying) Californian.

Hello, People's Computer.

Good Day, Comrade.

...They pay me $8.50 an hour for this.

[Update 5/2/2006] I have more duties now. Yay!

Image of the Day: Jenga Construction I Built on the Toilet While Drunk in the Bathroom